Caveman Shenanigans 5/5/11

Posted: May 6, 2011 in Strength Stunts

It was a sunny day yesterday, and I was obliged to run off from work early, get out my video camera, and do goofy stuff in my back yard. I tried a variety of jackass stunts, and most of them came off pretty well. I think we learn a lot about ourselves from watching footage of our exploits. Even if you’re used to working out in the slick, chrome plated gyms with mirrors on every surface, you’re really not seeing yourself all the way around, only glimpses from certain angles. The video camera captures the cruel, helpful truth. More below the fold.

First, expect to see new videos, hopefully beginning to pop this weekend. I’ll have sandbag, bucket, and block stunts to share with you. I had planned to have videos available long before now, but the weather has just not cooperated with me, and I found that my camera is not particularly good at capturing events that are shrouded in darkness and obscured by falling snow.

Okay, on to my observations. These will seem random, but will gradually make more sense as the videos come out.

  • I’m a fat old guy. Jeez. Maybe the tank top was a bad choice.
  • I could really benefit from a little tanning. Whew. Pasty skin.
  • In full sunlight, the camera really picks up all the tiny bugs that hover around the lawn. Cool, actually.
  • I’m rarely squatting as deeply as I think I am.
  • Although it doesn’t seem like it, that bucket really was full of sand. I’m not kidding.
  • Furriness. Yikes!
  • I feel silly wearing big boots with short pants. Still, safety first.
  • I have a variety of characteristic facial expressions, postures, and gestures that I’m not aware of. Well, I wasn’t aware of, anyhow. What a dork.
  • A few shots I captured really show how a sandbag’s shifting nature increases the challenge of any lift.
  • It’s difficult to find a difficult exercise that, at the same time, makes you look cool. I’m sure that the allure of arm curls has something to do with this phenomenon.
  • Carrying a 200lb sandbag into your back yard to get in position for your video is a workout in itself.
  • It doesn’t show, but I was bleeding freely from both hands by the end of the festivities. But that’s to be expected when embarking upon caveman goofiness, at least when you’re already nursing little cuts and scrapes from other adventures.

I should be cutting the videos together starting tonight. I figure there’s probably enough footage for four videos, the most useful of which will show the bulk of fun moves that can be done with a heavy bucket (at last). Keep in mind that I’m a guy who fixes computers at a library when you watch them. I’m not a model, a pro athlete, or anything like that. I’m just an enthusiastic knucklehead who loves to hoist heavy things. Anything that I’m doing can be done by other able-bodied individuals, if they want to put the time in. Everything that I’m talking about and espousing is put there to encourage you, not to intimidate you. If you’re not natively a lumpy fat guy, this stuff won’t make you into one. If you are the aforementioned lumpy fat guy, this’ll at least add “strong” into the mix.

Seeing myself and coming to the painful awareness that I am built like a refrigerator should provide the required impetus to work harder and cut some weight. I don’t work out to be pretty (lost cause), but dispensing with some useless cargo will be a goal for the summer. And those are my thoughts for the day.

Stunt Well, Stunt Safely!

  1. Mike says:

    Hi Patrick,

    Funny observations. There are ways in which causual acquaintances know us better than we know ourselves. In my own mind I’m younger and better looking than objective photographs reveal to be the case – this is always vaguely disappointing. I also find that my voice, when I hear it played back, does not sound bad, but does not sound like the “me” I know in my head. Like you, I find these self revelations sort of amusing. We are not it seems, entirely the people we imagine.

  2. Mike,

    I suppose we aren’t, at that, but it can be a little disconcerting to know that you’ve been walking around with a variety of misapprehensions about yourself. If you give it a minute, it generally turns to humor, though.

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